Other famous women
also have their PETs. Remember when Madonna dressed Guy up in one of her
promotional T-shirts the way supermodels dress their lapdogs in Burberry? But
it's Gwyneth Paltrow's boyfriend, Chris Martin, who is the ultimate PET.
When she was feeling stressed, he flew to New
York to give her a massage. Like her, he doesn't drink, smoke or stay up late.
Hardly the wild man of rock. He's even converted to her macrobiotic diet. And
they go to yoga together.
There are many advantages to having a PET
boyfriend. They are loving and loyal, eager to please, and respond well to
treats. If their career has fallen by the wayside, they are always free to pick
you up from the bus stop and wait in for the electricity man.
When I first started going out with my
boyfriend, he was a heavy-drinking, chain-smoking wild boy. He lived in a cool
warehouse with 20 other people and they were always having allnight parties.
Now, a year after moving in with me, he is a virtual vegetarian, cooks me dinner
and runs me a bath most nights. He is also very good at looking after our guinea
pig.
The other night he went out with friends and
came home drunk after six pints (he used to drink that amount for breakfast),
almost in tears.
"I've lost my rock'n'roll," he
wailed. It couldn't have bothered him too much - next day I found him lying on
the sofa, his face smothered in a Kiehl's face pack, drinking herbal tea.
My boyfriend says there are some good things
about being treated like a pet but I think he's getting sick of it. He recently
announced the time had come to get manly.
Last weekend he changed a door handle; this
week he's going to look for a job. He has even started disobeying me.
"Stop treating me like a dog!" he
shouts when I ruffle his ears and ask if he wants another biscuit.
I am not worried - his bark is worse than his
bite. - By Emine Saner,
Evening
Standard 19 May 2003
