Life as a trophy wife
Multimillionaires define their whole lives
by wealth, and so when it comes to women, they expect to get what they pay
for
Note to gold- diggers: It's hard to snag Mr.
Moneybags, and even harder work to be his wife
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The
typical rich man today is an educated, demanding, ruthless
over-achiever whose primary motivation is money. So the wife of said
rich man will find her role to be hard work -- mentally, physically
and emotionally.
The first rule for snagging a
wealthy man, according to Money magazine, is to go where they hang
out
Filippo
Monteforte, Agence France-Presse, Getty Images
|
There are now truly astonishing numbers of seriously wealthy individuals in the world, as the American
magazine Money recently reported.
Many of them have built up their fortunes hard and fast, often in areas of
work that require nerves of steel as well as raw talent and intelligence.
And wherever there's treasure, there are gold- diggers - so much so
that would be chatelaines can now attend lessons and seminars designed to
help secure a wealthy amorous sponsor - and there's a price range to
suit every pocket, from a bargain - basement $ 50 to $ 500.
Not much has changed since, say, Jane Austen's day - except perhaps the
men themselves. For a start, some of them are now women, a fact that may
well revitalize the gigolo market. Either way, male or female, those
gold-diggers are going to need to pay serious attention in class. Because we
are not talking about ensnaring some Tim-Nice-But-Dim with an inherited
seven-figure bank account and an IQ in overdraft; we are talking highly
educated, motivated, self-made people, who are as unlikely to be duped in
the bedroom as they are in the boardroom.
Money has compiled its own guide to bagging a multimillionaire. It takes
in the entire process, from identifying the local Mr. Moneybags (it is
largely aimed at female gold-diggers, although many of the techniques could
apply to either sex) to inveigling yourself into his social circle. Top tips
include moving to his area (even if that entails living in a shoebox: The
important thing is that you can then bump into him at your local Starbucks),
cultivating an interest in his interests (art, sport, etc.) and befriending
powerful old ladies who can then unwittingly furnish you with introductions
to your billionaire of choice.
"Billionaires' expansive estates," says Money "confront
them with the task of covering vast stretches of empty walls and filling
echoing foyers. That means they are constantly on the prowl for paintings,
sculptures and other objets d'art. So prowl where they prowl ... If you're
willing to go without dinner for a few months, invest in a $1,500 membership
in the Artist's Circle, which provides mingling opportunities, including
receptions, private viewings for major exhibitions and invitations to
special events such as the biennial art auctions ... Attend the annual gala
or dinner. It costs about $1,000, but doing so is worthwhile. Even if you
wind up with a group of dowagers instead of wealthy bachelors ... those
women can be your entry point."
But beware. Men who make large sums of money don't tend to be pussycats.
Unless they possess a uniquely marketable and remarkable talent
(footballers, pop stars, Internet geniuses), they will, at their core, be
ruthless. They may disguise it well with a bespoke suit or a sophisticated
wine palate, but the relentless pursuit of wealth, often from difficult
beginnings, can have a brutalizing effect on the human soul. When money is
the primary motive, then money colours all aspects of existence. And no one
knows the value of money better than a self-made man. Which means that,
crucially and somewhat crudely, they expect to get what they pay for.
In relationship terms, this can be exhausting. Rich men are demanding.
All right, you are beautiful, witty, intelligent and charming; but if he is
supporting your lavish lifestyle, he wants to call the shots. You may be
tired and want an early night; but if he's got revelry in mind, you'll be
expected to slip on your high heels and glad rags and get out there with
him. I've known wives of wealthy men who, just hours after giving birth,
have dragged themselves, wreathed in weak smiles, to the dinner table to
entertain corporate clients.
Make no mistake: It's hard work being married to a multimillionaire, even
if at the end of the day you do get to slide into Frette sheets and rest
your head on a $400 Hungarian goose-down pillow. One of the main problems is
other women. It was James Goldsmith (thrice married) who said: "When a
rich man marries his mistress, he creates a vacancy." Never was a truer
word spoken. Assuming you have managed to see off the first wife with your
superior conversation and lithe young figure, unencumbered by children or
age, you then face a lifetime of terrible strain. Having sold yourself as a
Ferrari, you have to maintain yourself like one. There is a reason Ferrari
issues a new model every few years or so (a shiny knob here; a new
electrical gadget there; that crucial extra iota of acceleration): It
appeals to their core client, and there is never a shortage of beautiful,
witty young women coming on to the market. However hard you try, you cannot
fight the passage of time for ever. And from his point of view, there may be
a certain appeal in owning a vintage model, but it's never going to be as
thrilling as the latest hot rod. Like I said, crude, but true.
Physically, then, it's exhausting. While ordinary wives and mothers slide
gently into middle age, Mrs. Billionaire has to get back into her size 10
jeans just weeks after giving birth to twins; she must avoid eating
chocolate-coated peanuts in front of the television; and she must stress
over the slightest wrinkle.
Mentally, too, it's hard. A good marriage thrives on mutual respect. If
your billionaire respects money above all else (and he is likely to do so,
having made many sacrifices and efforts to obtain it), it follows that he
will have little respect for someone who cannot provide her own. He may use
money as a lever, not just to control, but to manipulate and even belittle.
If not having enough money is a fundamental cause of marital strife, so is
having too much. It, and not affection, or empathy, becomes the currency in
the relationship, and that will not do. It will not lead to happiness,
certainly not for the woman.
If you are still determined, the best thing is to marry him while he is
still just a fledgling tycoon. At least you will have some genuine shared
experiences that do not revolve around having vast wads of cash. You will
also have a decent stab at getting half of everything if he does eventually
run off with an accommodating young lady half your age. In this respect,
gold-diggers, you should make sure you marry on British soil: tempting as it
may be to get glamorously hitched on his yacht, or in the South of France,
resist. British divorce law favours women more than almost anywhere else in
the world and, crucially, it takes into account future earnings. If you're
floating somewhere offshore, however romantic, you could well find that you
fall under the jurisdiction of somewhere utterly biased in favour of the
man. It'll be your word against his and that of his (paid) captain.
But then again, if you're millionaire hunting, chances are you know that
already.
- Stephanie Marsh, THE
TIMES LONDON 3 August 2007
'I want my oligarch' Finding, attracting and marrying a wealthy Russian businessman has become
a cottage industry Wear heels and act like a child
  |
Vladimir
Rakovsky teaches women seduction theory, posture and strip-tease.
The idea is for the students to attract Russian millionaires.
Justin
Jin/The Globe and Mail |
MOSCOW - All Elena Larionova wants is a rich husband. It doesn't matter if
he is fat, bald, a drunk or all of the above. Love doesn't interest the
striking, blond 24-year-old. Stability does.
If she plays her cards right, she says, she might
land herself the biggest Russian catch of all: an oligarch.
That's why she is teetering in her stiletto black
boots in a Moscow dance studio on a Wednesday night after work, her ankles
bound by an elastic band, ensuring that she can only take baby steps.
Ms. Larionova and 40 other women have shelled out
6,000 rubles ($245) for this six-week night school to learn the fine art of
manipulating rich men. The baby-step trot, according to the teacher, makes
oligarchs like billionaire Roman Abramovich sit up and take notice.
In her red silk blouse, cascading blond curls, and
de rigueur five-inch heels, Ms. Larionova could hold her own in any trendy
Moscow nightclub. But she's after a wedding ring. "I want someone who
will always be by my side," she said. "A man with money can be
relied upon. The more money you have, the more reliable you are."
Thousands of other young Russian women have the same
idea.
In a country where the gap between rich and poor is
wide, finding, attracting and marrying a wealthy Russian businessman has
become a cottage industry.
There are movies, TV shows and bestselling books all
based on the Cinderella-themed premise of young girls finding happiness and
security in the arms of rich, older men. From Moscow to Siberia, the
Internet is filled with schools that teach women how to find, even stalk,
wealthy men. Prices range from $200 to $2,000 for top-flight VIP coaching.
The back cover of one tongue-in-cheek self-help
manual, co-authored by Russian socialite Ksenia Sobchak, declares:
"There are enough oligarchs in Russia to go around. Your equipment: a
smile, a sense of humour, optimism and fervour. Marry a prince? It's
easy."
The book jacket features its authors in slinky
evening wear toting machine guns.
While schools and self-help books make it sound
easy, in reality, the odds of an ordinary young woman marrying a rich
Russian businessman aren't good.
Competition is fierce for the finite pool of wealthy
Russian men. Over the past eight years, President Vladimir Putin has
harassed, jailed and chased out some of the richest men in Russia. Still,
it's estimated there are about 50 billionaires, 120,000 millionaires and
thousands more who are just well off.
It's a tempting aspiration for starry-eyed young
women. Russia's moneyed-men set don't shy from spending lavishly. They drop
thousands of dollars a night at Moscow's most exclusive nightclubs, like
Diaghilev Project, where, until it burned down Thursday afternoon, a VIP
booth started at $10,000. They take private jets to vacation spots in the
Alps and the south of France. Squiring beautiful women is chief among their
pursuits.
Russia even has its own self-appointed guru of
high-end matchmaking, Piotr Listerman, a bespectacled, middle-aged playboy
who boasts that he has arranged nearly every elite coupling of note in the
past 15 years.
When not out scouting bars and ski resorts, Mr.
Listerman is host of a reality show called Beauties
and the Beast, and manages his matchmaking empire by phone and computer.
He said he receives about 200 e-mails a day from women wanting introductions
to wealthy men. He also claims to have a database of 500 "very rich
men." Mr. Listerman said he meets with every woman who attracts his
interest and arranges discreet dates with interested oligarchs.
"The next day, I call her for feedback. I call
him for feedback. After, ... I take my cigar, 50 grams of whisky. I feel
like a God."
He says Russian's oligarchs trust him and few others
with their complicated love lives. (Many are married and looking for
girlfriends on the side.) He listens, he said, and doesn't judge, like
"a lawyer, a psychologist, a lawyer and a priest," all in one.
"They tell me very secret things about their private lives," he
said during a late-night interview in the bar of a boutique hotel.
Mr. Listerman, 50, refuses to name the oligarchs
he's befriended and matched over the past two decades so it's impossible to
verify his tales.
But he definitely has a reputation. The former ski
instructor was the inspiration for the Russian feature film Glyanets,
or Glamour, which chronicles a young woman's
move from the countryside to Moscow where she works as a housekeeper for the
owner of a high-end dating service. He eventually sets her up with an
oligarch and the movie's final scene shows the pair attending Moscow's
Millionaire's Fair arm-in-arm.
Mr. Listerman also claims he is Russia's gatekeeper
for access to the finicky oligarchs, most of whom prefer Russian models and
actresses. Ordinary women such as Ms. Larionova can dream, he said, but they
stand little chance of landing a rich man without his assistance.
Still, Ms. Larionova, who is the deputy head of the
credit department in a bank, is optimistic and determined to learn how to
"conquer a man."
The classes she has enrolled in are run by Vladimir
Radovsky, another self-appointed romance guru, who claims he can teach women
how to manipulate men. Mr. Radovsky, who has franchises in St. Petersburg
and Kiev, calls it the art of stervologiya,
which translates loosely into "how to be a Russian bitch."
The term sterva is less
pejorative in the Russian language. Its English equivalent is closer to a
female "player."
Mr. Radovsky, 42, said the key for women wanting to
attract powerful men is to act powerless.
A gifted sterva, Mr.
Radovsky explains to his rapt students, is someone who can control men.
There are a handful of roles men prefer in women, he said - sexy, playful,
haughty. But tonight he's teaching the benefits of behaving like a servile
child.
"Act like a four-year-old girl," he says,
pacing the studio. "Your mother probably told you if you want something
to get it yourself," he explains. "Get that out of your head. You
have to be a funny bunny when he comes home from work with his
paycheque."
One by one the women practise their Lolita acts.
Holding two oranges, Mr. Radovsky asks one student to beg for them.
"It's so elementary. If you act like a baby, the man will treat you
like a little baby and want to give you everything."
She kneels at Mr. Radovsky's feet, looks up and asks
for the orange. He replies that he doesn't have any. The women is stumped.
"If the guys says 'No,' just keep asking. You
have to be confident in your role as a baby."
Exasperated, Mr. Radovsky calls in his wife, a
23-year-old former model. She throws herself at her husband's knees and
begins to cry. Mr. Radovsky turns the oranges over and she trots out of the
room in her high heels.
Mr. Radovsky said his schools are designed to
empower women.
The reality of the typical Russian woman's life is
difficult, he said. Most married women combine work with the majority of
household duties. They're strong and capable, he said.
But Russia is a patriarchal country, he said. Many
men prefer women who are ultra-feminine and "controllable."
Russian women also have different standards. Unlike Western women, they
don't want a "sensitive man" who loves babies, he said with a
grin.
"In Russia, only a few women want this,"
he said. "The others want a man who is responsible for all the
finances."
But some critics fear the Russian craze to marry up
is sending the wrong message to women, who are starting to make real gains
in Russia's expanding middle class.
Writer Tatiana Ogorodnikova, herself a purveyor of
novels that chronicle Russia's rich and powerful, said marrying a wealthy
man won't necessarily bring financial security to a young woman. Russia's
divorce laws look good on paper, but in reality, if a wealthy man doesn't
want to pay alimony, he can bribe a judge or hide his money.
"Most [wives] don't get a penny, not even money
for the kids," said Ms. Ogorodnikova, who is married to Leonid
Ogorodnikov, a cinema chain mogul.
Ms. Ogorodnikova said her novels are cautionary
tales about the perils that face young women who align their futures to rich
men. She added she and her husband married long before he was wealthy.
The craze among women for rich mates is destroying
families, she added. In the past five years, she said, eight couples in her
family's circle of friends have divorced. All the
breakups were caused when the husbands left for
young women. Russia's divorce rate is 80 per cent.
Ms. Ogorodnikova's latest book is about a school
that teaches young women to find rich husbands with ruthless efficiency. She
said her books are based on real people, but like Mr. Listerman, she will
not name names.
In researching her latest book, Ms. Ogorodnikova
assembled a group of female university students, the latest objects of
desire by oligarchs. She was stunned at how many were seeking wealthy
husbands and boyfriends.
"They just want money," she said. They
didn't care if he beat them or drank too much," she said. "I asked
them how much do you need? They said 50,000 rubles [about $2,000)] a
week."
Ms. Ogorodnikova said the women saw themselves as
Cinderella figures.
"They forget that Cinderella was a good
labourer. Her prince was a real prince, not a king with a wife and a couple
of children."
Ms. Larionova is undeterred and said the classes
have improved her self image and have raised her standards. She enrolled
after her boyfriend recently left her. "Now I don't care about him. I
want someone better, someone rich."
Billion-dollar daddies like Hollywood celebrities,
the love lives of the oligarchs are closely followed in Russia.
Roman Abramovich, 41, divorced his second wife Irina
last year after reports surfaced of his relationship with Russian beauty
Daria Zhukova, daughter of Russian oligarch Alexander Zhukov. Mr. Abramovich
and his former wife had five children. Mr. Abramovich's net worth is
estimated at $18.2-billion. He has homes in Britain and Russia and is
governor of the Russian province of Chukotka.
Vicktor Baturin, formerly the deputy head of Inteko,
the $1-billion concrete, plastics and real-estate business, recently
divorced his wife to be with his pregnant, 23-year-old Belarussian
girlfriend.
Mikhail Prokhorov, a Russian billionaire, was
arrested in 2007 on pimping charges after New Year's celebrations at the
French Alpine resort of Courchevel. The arrests also included about 10
Russian women who called themselves students and models during police
hearings. A judge later cleared Mr. Prokhorov, saying there wasn't enough
evidence to proceed with the case. Mr. Prokhorov, an investor in Norilsk
Nickel, Russia's biggest mining company, denied any wrongdoing. Later, the
Russian elite threatened to boycott the French resort. Russians are among
the resort's big-spending clients during the winter season.
Alexander Tarantsev, 50, a shopping-mall magnate,
married model Yulia Vizgalina, and they now co-own Moscow's Soho and Jimmy
Choo boutiques.
Platon Lebedev, a jailed oligarch and the former
business partner of former OAO Yukos chief executive officer Mikhail
Khodorkovsky, divorced his wife of 30 years, Tatiana, while in prison, to
marry his young girlfriend, Natalia. They have two sons now.
- 2008 February 11 GLOBE
& MAIL
 
It's no secret dudes will jump through
hoops – or at least into a change of clothes – to impress hot chicks.
But when even powerful men like Nicolas Sarkozy are stumbling to keep up
with the stunners on their arm, what chance do regular men stand
Hours after French President
Nicolas Sarkozy was forced to lie down while jogging along the manicured
lanes of the Château de Versailles, many wondered if his heart had given
out.
Days later, the questions turned to his
wife.
After all, it was Carla Bruni, 41, the
Italian-born former supermodel turned folk balladeer, who introduced her
54-year-old husband to his new fitness instructor.
The 26-year-old trainer reportedly
ordered Mr. Sarkozy, a dedicated jogger and cyclist, to shed two pant sizes
and forbade him chocolate, cheese and pudding. The trainer gave Mr. Sarkozy
a punishing exercise routine that left him looking more like a “Tour de
France rider than a president,” a friend told Mirror.co.uk.
Was Mr. Sarkozy's dizzy spell the most
recent instance of a man overextending himself for a gorgeous wife? Men have
long told tales of jumping through flaming hoops to land and keep good
looking – and often high maintenance – women. Even when both parties are
stunners, the female-driven dynamic can take hold. This week, actor Orlando
Bloom reportedly turned down Pirates of the Caribbean 4 so he could
spend more time with his girlfriend, Australian model Miranda Kerr, who had
already turned down his marriage proposal, twice
If heads of state and Hollywood hot
throbs can get locked in the choke hold, what chance do regular men stand?
Adam, who asked that his last name not be
used, “sucked it up for a gorgeous girl” for eight years.
Adam, who works for a design firm in
Toronto, said there were the usual indulgences, including spending well
beyond his means on dinner and drinks. His girlfriend routinely complained
about the time he spent with his friends. And there were other, more
particular requests.
“Wardrobe, there were some changes. The
pants got a lot tighter, the V-necks got deeper. It started out with her
buying me clothes, a couple of shirts. … And then when I was shopping,
there were nudges,” said Adam, 28.
Ms. Bruni too, overhauled her husband's
wardrobe, right down to the trademark bling, reports say. Next, she weaned
the diminutive president off Sylvester Stallone with a cultural diet of
Leonard Cohen and French existentialist philosophers. Where he leaned toward
French rocker Johnny Hallyday, she pushed Marianne Faithfull.
Adam's girlfriend too bemoaned his
musical tastes: “She hates my music. Hates it. The girl can't stand
Bob Dylan, loves Oasis.”
But the hardest pill to swallow was a man
his girlfriend started seeing with increasing regularity – Adam called him
a “suitor.”
So why did he put up with it?
“I was cool with it because she's hot.
I know the minute I'm not with her, somebody else is. That's pressure to
always keep the game high, to keep the level high.”
Although the couple is now on hiatus –
“It's kind of complicated,” Adam said – The experience demonstrates
that men will let highly attractive women get away with significantly more
mate grooming than they do plain Janes: “The prevailing winds definitely
blow in that direction,” Adam said.
This tendency is frequently discussed on
male-centric blogs such as AskMen.com. An article called Top 10:
Disadvantages of Dating a Babe Top10: Disadvantages of Dating a Babe,
for example, warns men about getting squished under her well-manicured
thumb.
“You may become [so] blinded by her
looks that you overlook any serious personality flaws that she may have,”
bleats the author.
Even the pick-up artist community debates
the topic ardently, its gurus cautioning the Average Joe about the perils of
overextending himself to keep a “perfect 10.”
“Now that economically independent
women no longer need provisions from men, they are choosing men based on
flashier criteria. So what you get are middle-aged world leaders slimming
down on crash diets until they pass out from starvation,” said J. Wiedmann,
a Washington white-collar-crime investigator behind Roissy in DC, a blog
popular among aspiring pick up artists.
“I've sadly noticed that the amount of
bad behaviour a man is willing to tolerate is directly proportional to a
woman's attractiveness,” said Neil Strauss, author of The Game .
“A bad woman can take a guy down and a
good woman can bring a guy to the top.”
In other words, not all trophy
girlfriends are created equal.
Michael Marks, a Toronto-based dating
coach for men, thinks it's great that Mr. Sarkozy is working out
passionately and sampling avant-garde film, but he questions Ms. Bruni's
intentions. - 2009 July 31 GLOBE
& MAIL
Say bye-bye to bimbos
Men are trading in their trophy wives for sophisticated upgrades
The quandary voiced by Paul McCartney
decades ago in the song When I'm 64 has finally been answered. ("Will
you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm sixty-four?") When
he turns 64 in three years' time, Sir Paul will be nappy-changing the child
he and his 35-year-old wife, Heather Mills, just announced that they are
expecting this year.
Count on the news to spark a new spate of
short-term anti-Mills vitriol, specifically, speculation that this is a
strategy pregnancy, one designed to drive even more of a wedge between
McCartney and his four grown children. That would be consistent with the
brutal media treatment Mills, a former model turned campaigner against
landmines, has been accorded since she became involved with the pop legend
in 1999.
The cavilling was inevitable. McCartney
is, after all, a national treasure, still "the cute Beatle," even
as a sexagenarian. Then there's the fact that any woman would be
hard-pressed to follow in the legacy of Linda, McCartney's wife of 29 years,
who died of cancer in 1998 and to whom he appeared endlessly devoted.
Even before she and McCartney became an
item, Mills was well known in Britain for her charity work, which garnered
her a Nobel Peace Prize nomination in 1996, but also for her reckless love 'em
and leave 'em romantic life. Then there was an autobiography detailing the
loss of her leg when she was run down by a police motorcycle, as well as
claims of a near-Dickensian childhood that included sexual abuse and
homelessness as a teenager.
The veracity of that account has been
strenuously questioned, as has her role in creating a riff between her
husband and his children. The fact that the dress she wore to her wedding
last summer wasn't made by McCartney's famous designer daughter, Stella, was
the source of a national uproar. Mills has also been accused of being a gold
digger, which is no surprise, given that McCartney is worth some $1.6
billion. The couple also doesn't have a prenup, a fact that must gall his
children.
Mills told Vanity Fair that she offered
to sign one but that McCartney wouldn't let her.
What seems to perplex the British tabs
most, though, is that Mills can't be slotted into a ready wife construct.
She's much younger than McCartney, as well as beautiful, which is one
second-wife cliché, but she's also a woman with her own agenda who is
opinionated and doesn't stand around gazing adoringly at her husband. In
fact, in a BBC interview this year, she praised Linda for "training him
up well."
Nor is she a stranger to self-promotion,
that modern pastime that, in the wife of Sir Paul, is seen as unseemly. On
the heels of her wedding, she published a sequel to her autobiography, the
proceeds from which went to charity. She even turns to the media to carp
about how badly the press treats her. In another BBC interview, she spoke of
her hurt at being cast as "Cinderella's wicked stepmother." That
was the interview in which she expressed anguish over the fact that she was
unlikely to have children because she had suffered uterine cancer and two
previous ectopic pregnancies.
With this miraculous pregnancy, however,
Mills does fall squarely into a second- and third-wife trend of having
babies with men old enough to be grandfathers.
The 33-year-old Catherine Zeta-Jones, for
instance, just had her second child with 58-year-old Michael Douglas, who
has a grown son. Wendy Deng, the 36-year-old third wife of 72-year-old
Rupert Murdoch, who has four grown children from previous marriages, is
expecting the couple's second child this winter.
For men, the desire to comply with their
younger wife's wishes to procreate can be chalked up to an "Anthony
Quinn complex," after the actor who was busy populating the earth into
his 80s. A cynic might view such pregnancies as a strategic move on the part
of wives, however, in that a new baby trumps any pre-existing children and
dilutes the inheritable asset pool. If so, it's a gambit that's not without
risks. As one woman wise in society mating rituals told me, "One child
is OK for a trophy wife. But you don't want more than one, because then
he'll start seeing you as a mother who doesn't have time for him."
Coincidentally, on Wednesday, the day the
upcoming McCartney offspring was announced, The New York Observer ran a
cover story on the latest fashion in trophy wives, which is for women who
are too old to have children. The piece, with the wonderful title, "Hot
Flash! Trophy Wife Models Are Passé: Rudy to Jack Welch, Remarrying Geezers
Get Middle-Aged Babes With Power Dowries," claims that the "jiggle
girl whose heart belongs to Daddy is being replaced by the super-competent,
middle-aged sex bomb, professional, educated, toned, solvent, sexy."
As anyone who has followed the evolution
of the trophy wife knows, this is hardly a "hot flash." The
"divorce Mommy, marry Bambi" trend described by the Observer was
deemed passé in 1995 by Fortune, the publication that coined the term
"trophy wife" in 1989 to describe the beautiful, much younger
women that successful CEOs were upgrading their first wives with. By the
mid-1990s, though, the bombshell second-wife status symbol had been usurped
by the more mature bluestocking with brains, women like Barbara Amiel Black
and Marie-Josée Kravis, the economist third wife of money-counter Henry
Kravis.
Paradoxically, the ultimate trophy wife
is now a woman who doesn't need to be a wife -- for status, money or even
children. Meanwhile, the "trophy husband" is impervious to fashion
or economic trends. He remains rich and successful, qualities that make him
ageless.
Arguably, he now needs a wife more than
she needs him. Consider the dripping-with-money Teresa Heinz, a woman five
years older than her husband, Senator John Kerry, who is running for the
U.S. presidency. Like Mills, Heinz has been criticized for being "too
opinionated" and not deferential enough to her husband. Still, there's
no question she's a political asset. As she put it in a profile on her in
this month's Elle: "How many [other] women did he go out with ... who
could talk to a parliamentarian from Japan about the global
environment?" In the same article, Kerry is quoted as saying that he
fell in love "with the fullness of a woman," a comment that's
bound to serve him well with female voters.
What many men haven't figured out is that
men who select women who are challenging and age-appropriate are highly
attractive to other women. I recall the new-found respect I felt for one man
I know, who said he knew he had to break up with a much younger woman he was
dating when she said she didn't know Paul McCartney had been in a band
before Wings.
It's quite possible Heather Mills was
once in that same position. After all, she wasn't even born at the time that
When I'm 64 was released. Now, if all goes well, she'll be sharing
McCartney's 64th year with him and a child, or maybe two. And, more than
likely, as a mother, she'll be experiencing new-found respect from a media
that hasn't quite figured out what a modern wife is, but loves an
uncomplicated babe. -
By Anne Kingston Saturday
Post 31 May 2003
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