Her husband does not know of her share trading
account, which doubles as her savings fund.
'If he knew, he'd go out and splurge on his car or buy
something stupid. This way, he saves for the both of us,' she said with a smile.
Ms Tay is among a group of financially independent
women in Singapore who keep their assets under wraps to stave off any
overspending by their spouse, to ensure they have enough if the man walks out
and, in one case, because her husband stole from her.
But unlike their mothers or grandmothers, they do not
squirrel away grocery money in secret Khong Guan Biscuit tins. Their assets take
the form of bank accounts, insurance policies or investments in shares or
property.
But this trait is not peculiar to women here.
A nine-country survey by London-based research firm
Synovate found that one in five (20 per cent) Singaporean wives keeps her
husband in the dark about her emergency fund. If it's any comfort, the tendency
is more prevalent in Japan (38 per cent), Saudi Arabia (32 per cent) and China
(21 per cent).
On the other hand, women in France (7.2 per cent),
United States (7.6 per cent), Brazil (9 per cent), Romania (12 per cent) and
Britain (16.8 per cent) are more open.
The survey interviewed 301 Singaporean women, of which
three in five were married. It also found that 75 per cent of the married women
earned less than their spouse, and that almost half do not routinely save for
retirement.
However, the survey, released last month, did not
indicate the age, race or occupation of the respondents.
It also did not define what 'secret' means. Which
suggests that the number of quiet hoarders in Singapore could be higher because
13 of the 20 Singaporean women interviewed by The Sunday Times gave different
takes on the word.
Some do not tell their husbands at all, some tell, but
will not reveal the precise value or amount of the assets while others will 'act
blur' when asked.
Aged between 25 and 35, they all have full-time jobs
and can support themselves financially.
Administrative executive Hamizah, 31, who spoke on
condition of anonymity, said she did not let her husband know how much year-end
bonus she received so that she can pamper herself with treats without being
nagged by him.
Are these secret savings an act of bad faith? Or are
women merely pragmatic in protecting themselves?
Bank executive Angeline Lee, 26, who will marry her
long-time boyfriend next year, was swift in her retort: 'Why not? My mother has
always told me to keep money for myself for protection and not to let the man
know.'
She added, betraying a fatalistic attitude often seen
in Asia: 'You never know if your husband will walk out on you. Anyway, he
probably has funds that he's not telling me about.'
Mr Aldrin Thomas, 30, a teacher, finds the attitude
dreadful. 'Wives won't like it if their husbands do the same. At the very least,
the hubby must know about it. He does not have to control it.'
A 34-year-old office manager said she had to keep her
finances secret because her husband habitually stole from her. For obvious
reasons, she asked not to be named.
However, wives like teacher Celine Tan, 26, believe in
full disclosure. She said: 'The most important thing in a marriage is trust.
There should be no secret between husband and wife.'
Legal secretary Yang Yuxin, 28, agrees. Her husband
has access to her personal savings account.
Synovate's survey found that four in five Singapore
women have their own savings accounts, two in three have insurance policies,
half have jewellery while one in four have mutual funds, shares or bonds.
Counsellors warn against hiding money because when a
spouse stumbles on a large stash, it could undermine the trust in the marriage.
Ms Teo Seok Bee, programme manager at Touch Community
Services, which runs marriage courses, said couples are taught the different
options of financial arrangements. 'We always encourage transparency and trust
in all aspects of a couple's life, including finances,' she added.
But old habits die hard. Said a 29-year-old public
relations executive, who wanted to be known only as Mei: 'It boils down to
trust. For me, if my husband asks, I'll act blur. I'm just not comfortable
discussing my money, even with him.' She has been married for eight months.
- By Chua Kong Ho SINGAPORE
BUSNESS TIMES 9 Feb 2005
